Level 28

In honor of my 28^th birthday I want to write 28 things I’m grateful for and 28 things I want to accomplish.

1. I’m so incredibly thankful for my Dad and my stepmom. I don’t see them enough. I don’t do enough for them and I don’t thank them enough for the amazing example that they show myself and my brothers and sisters everyday on how to treat one another with laughter, adventure and love. I love my Dad and I look up to him and respect him in more ways than I can express. And my stepmom is one of the kindest and most genuine women I know and I thank her so much for treating me like her own daughter. When I was going through a hard time and didn’t talk to them for months, they accepted me right back into the family and love me as I am.
2. I really hope everyone isn’t getting sick of hearing this but I’m really thankful for the time I had with my mom. It wasn’t long enough but I’m so incredibly grateful that I was as close to her as I was. And I was lucky because I moved through my rebellious stage and times that I struggled personally where I didn’t talk to her and then she just accepted me back into her life without even a hesitation. I’m so happy I got the time I did because even though she wasn’t perfect, she taught me how to love unconditionally.
3. My brothers and sisters. I have 3 younger brothers and a younger sister on my mom’s side. And I have 2 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers on my Dad’s side. And I’m so incredibly grateful to have them all in my life and watch them grow up. I am happy that they are healthy and I love how incredible they are. Each one is special, talented, intelligent, driven, responsible, hardworking, loving, forgiving, beautiful, handsome and just plain cool. I brag about them like they are my own kids and I can’t wait to watch them grow up and become the amazing people I know that they are. Jacob, Zaina, Ethan, Malaika, Zachary, Dylan, Lauren, and Michael, I love you all to pieces!
4. I’m grateful for my grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. For their wisdom, love and support every time I get to see them, even if it isn’t as often as I’d like.
5. I am so grateful to have my boyfriend in my life. I wont get to sappy here. But let’s just say that he’s an amazing man and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that he’s interested in me like he is.
6. I have two jobs that are flexible, accommodating, happy to have me and are completely covering my bills and paying for opportunities to travel because a year ago I had no job and things did not look so bright.
7. I am extremely grateful that I was able to finish the first draft of a novel that I’ve been working on for an embarrassing length of time. It still needs a lot of work but I’m so proud of myself for getting this first big step done.
8. I’m grateful that I have friends that have been there for me during some incredibly difficult times. And no matter how long we go without talking or seeing each other, they will be there for me and me for them and I hope they know that. You know who you are.
9. I’m also really grateful for my health. I’ve cut back on drinking and because of that, I’ve gotten better sleep and all around feel happier. Although I need to get some work done on my teeth (who doesn’t), I am healthy and capable.
10. I’m really grateful for the amount of passion that I have. I know that it is this that has pushed me through a lot of hard times. I know it was my passion and stubbornness that helped me dry my tears and do things that were hard. And I know that it is that drive that will get me through anything I have to face in my life in the future.
11. I’m thankful my car works pretty well and is completely legal.
12. I’m happy I have my cat to love me and crawl on me in the morning.
13. I’m happy that I can afford to keep a roof over my head.
14. I’m grateful that the man that killed my mom got caught.
15. I’m happy that it’s finally the first day of fall and the hottest days are behind us. (knocks on wood)
16. I’m extremely grateful that I’m going to rome in less than a month and a half and that I’ll have a companion.
17. I’m grateful for the dancing world that I got to enter and learn from because it taught me a lot of things to live in the moment and helped me develop better balance.
18. I’m grateful that after finishing my first draft of my other story, I immediately got another idea for another story and was able to start working on it.
19. I’m grateful that I have the ability to grow and learn from my mistakes, even if it might take me longer than it should, I’m happy that I’m able to see my mistakes and move on from them eventually.
20. I’m grateful for the relationships that I’ve had. Even though they didn’t last, I learned something and they were not a waste.
21. I’m grateful for coffee and tacos. Because they really are amazing.
22. I’m grateful for Panera Bread and it’s magical abilities to allow my creative ideas to flow, even if they aren’t that good, it at least feels like I’m making progress.
23. I’m grateful for Masterclass and my friends that bought it for me because it has been instrumental in inspiring me to write and read again like I used to.
24. I’m grateful I have my laptop to write on.
25. I’m grateful that I have this blog with over 200 followers now!! Even if only one of you actually read my stuff, who reads it is out of my control and that is really freeing and frightening at the same time.
26.  I’m grateful that I’ve lived long enough to meet the people I have, to do what I’ve done so far and to grow how I’ve grown because a lot of people never get that.
27. I’m grateful for the journal that a friend bought me because it’s really helped me contain my crazy.
28. I’m grateful for everything and everyone else because I ran out of things to say. 😊

28 Things that I will accomplish

1. I will publish my book. The one I’ve been working on forever. I don’t care if it isn’t the one to become successful. I will publish it and finish what I started.
2. I will publish 10 more books after that
3. And become a bestselling novelist. It’s a lofty goal. And I probably never thought it was possible and even now if it didn’t come true, I wouldn’t be terribly upset. But, nevertheless, it is the goal I’m chasing after.
4. I want to have kids. Ideally 4. But I’d be the happiest person on the planet with just one.
5. I want to get married. And because the universe likes to play games, I want a marriage like my Dad’s and Wanja’s NOT like my Mom’s and ex-stepfathers.
6. If I’m not writing, I want to read as many books as I can get my hands on.
7. I will get better at drawing. Not for any reason other than it’s fun and I like being able to see what I created.
8. I would like to get better at painting.
9. I want to get decent at cooking. Because cooking is actually pretty fun.
10. I want to learn to play the violin.
11. I will travel to Rome.
12. And to Tokyo
13. And to Cairo
14. And to Athens all hopefully with my traveling buddy.
15. I will pay off my student loans and my other debt
16. I will spend as much time with my family as possible because I know time with them is never promised.
17. I will continue to get better at dancing but not make it my entire life.
18. I will continue to write blogs that are beneficial to at least one other person and keep me honest.
19. I will continue to push myself to be everything I know that I can be but also learn to go easy on myself when I should be.
20. No matter how much I struggle I will continue to be the best person I can be and not hurt others.
21. And if I fail, I will have the humility to admit my faults and swallow my ego and apologize.
22. I will learn to control what I can in my life and let go of what I can’t.
23. I will become the best wife and mother that I can possibly be and hope that my faults are forgiven when they are revealed.
24. I will focus as much as I can on my goals but learn when to set them aside so that I can be there for the people that I love when they need me.
25. I will learn to enjoy stability and accept that it isn’t always boring.
26. Whatever I learn, I promise to teach to others to the best of my ability because my lessons and ideas are not just for me. As Werner said “there is something greater than our own personal growth”
27. I will not leave my keys in my car as often.
28. I will step into this next year with intention and take every single step after that with intention. Even if it’s the wrong one. I will know that I’m doing my best.