A lot of people have heard of the Myers Briggs (or 16) personality test. First, I am going to explain this test, how it’s useful and then why I think it’s inadequate.

The Myers Briggs splits the human personality into four different subgroups, with two choices for each one. The first group is either introverted (abbreviated with an I) or extroverted (abbreviated with an E). According to the organization in the Myers Briggs system, the decision between introverted and extroverted revolves largely around how socially inept you are. If you like people and you can communicate with people, you are an extrovert. If you don’t like people and would rather be alone, you are an introvert.

The second determines whether you are a sensor (abbreviated with an S) or intuitive (abbreviated with an N). According to the Myers Briggs organization, if you a sensor you are materialistic and engaged with the physical world. If you are intuitive then you prefer abstract thoughts and tend to ignore the physical world.

The third determines whether you are feeler (abbreviated with an F) or a thinker (abbreviated with a T). If you are a feeler, you are an emotional wreck guided only by your feelings. If you are a thinker, you are a psychopathic robot guided by logic.

The fourth talks about whether you are a Perceiver (abbreviated with a P) or a Judger (abbreviated with a J). If you are a perceiver you a free spirit with a messy house that hates to plan. If you are a judger then everything must be planned out, you’re controlling and probably OCD.

So, for example, if you’re a Introvert, Sensor, Thinker and Perceiver, then you are an ISFP. Picking one out of each group gives the possibility of 16 different personalities. They are shown below.

ISFP       ESFP      ISTP       ESTP

ISFJ        ESFJ       ISTJ        ESTJ

INFP      ENFP     INTP      ENTP

INFJ       ENFJ      INTJ       ENTJ

Each type is then described based on the combination of the each of the four groups and stereotypes develop. For example, an ESFJ is often described as being social, but small minded, they are usually obsessed with appearances and therefore become judgmental, but they are extremely caring and love to plan events. So the stereotypical ESFJ turns into the church coordinator that is always complaining about the girl that wears too low cut shirts but at the same time would drop everything for anyone who needed her.

The problem with the myers briggs organization is that, you are either this or that. And personality is based on actions when actions are usually just a side effect of what we value and how we process information. The outsider sees the ESFJ always coordinating church parties and judging the way people dress but that isn’t as important as to why the ESFJ is always coordinating church parties and judging the way people dress. If you asked them why, (and they were relatively aware of why they did things), their answer would consist of how comfort and community cohesiveness are all important in society. She wants the community to come together because she sees how a community that stays together is not only happier but more prosperous, so she volunteers to plan events for the church. She judges the girl that dresses to provocatively because she thinks she might be making people uncomfortable. If she’s making people uncomfortable, then people will stop coming to her events and then the community collapses. 

My point is that Myers Briggs uses actions and stereotypes to determine a person’s personality and this can cause issues when evaluating people because we tend to put people in a box. Not to mention, Myers Briggs doesn’t allow for any growth, or change in mood. Keeping the same example, what if ESFJ woman doesn’t want to plan any event for an entire month and she’d rather stay at home? Did her personality change? Is she now an ISFJ? No, she’s still an ESFJ. I will explain why momentarily. 

But the Myers Briggs personality test is actually useful in a couple ways. The truth is actions usually point to personality so it will get people close to what their personality is and second, it’s the fastest way to communicate your personality to someone that understands its’ origins. Because Myers Briggs actually simplified Carl Jung’s work on cognitive functions by organizing it into the four letter code that is so recognizable.

However, if you’re new to understanding personalities from this perspective, Myers Briggs (16 Personality Test) is a great place to start. take the test below and post your results.

https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types

Only the rain beats tonight,

only the clouds cry,

only the thunder cracks,

and only lighting shuts out my lights.

Chaos of a thunderstorm,

surrounds me.

Protects me.

He cant get to me

while the storm rages.

Well it’s the last day of the year ladies and gentlemen. Obviously, this is a time for reflection on the past year and a time to look ahead to the next year. With everything I’ve gone through this year, 2020 is going to have to try extra hard to be worse than 2019. But 2019 wasn’t all bad. I finally went to Italy. Something I’ve wanted to do since I first read about the history that took place there and saw pictures of the Colosseum and Pompeii. I solidified a lot of friendships as we went through hardships together and fixed a couple of bad habits.

But something I think I am going to concentrate on next year is my tendency to overwhelm myself. I say yes to too many people. I try to do to much and I fill to much of my time with promises and expectations. When this happens I look at my schedule and I just start to back out of things. I get so overwhelmed that priorities get fuzzy and I compromise on the things that are actually important. But everything isn’t always black and white. This will last; this wont. This is worth my time; this isn’t. Sometimes you wholeheartedly think something will last and then it still falls apart. So how do we choose?

Yesterday, I got really overwhelmed with everything I’d promised people I would do, with chores I needed to run and expectations I was trying to make for myself. And the problem isn’t that I say yes when I don’t want too. The problem is that I want to do EVERYTHING! And see EVERYONE. I simultaneously want to teach myself Spanish, finish writing my book, and go to Six Flags with my friends. But I end up exhausting myself. And the next day I’m both frustrated with myself for not writing and choosing Six Flags and excited about the memories I made.

So yesterday, after realizing that yes, I was overwhelmed. I did a quick google search on how to become un-overwhelmed. I found one article that said, if you’re overwhelmed, cut something out.

Then I started thinking about everything I needed to do. How my time was planned out to the minute for the next few days and I just couldn’t think of what could be put aside. It was all IMPORTANT.

Something I’ve learned about myself in my 28 years of life is that I’m extremely visual. As soon as everything is on paper right in front of me, it imprints on my memory. In list form or just trying to remember, it gets all jumbled. Like I’m trying to make sense of what I need to do through a fog. But as soon as I slap it on a page in some organized form, bam, I’ve got it forever.

So, knowing this about myself, I decided to create a Mind map of the things that were overwhelming me. What this turned into was a map of things people were asking of me (usually my time) and errands I needed to run (also time users). Looking at the mind map. I instantly realized there were things I had no way around, however, other things, with a quick conversation could be solved. Things I was maybe overwhelming myself with, when I didn’t need to be at all. So that’s what I did, shuffled some things around. And in about fifteen minutes, I felt a lot better.

So for this next year, I think I’m going to focus on this. I know that I get overwhelmed easily because I try to do to much. But this over promising compromises my abilities in other areas.

If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed frequently, how do you learn? How do you process information? Use that to trick you brain into relaxing. My brain starts freaking out at a long list but at a mind map, it goes okay this isn’t so bad. Now that may seem a little crazy, but we are all a LITTLE crazy. It just takes practice to manage.

(The link to the above mentioned article will not attach here for some reason. Google ’12 things to remember when you are feeling overwhelmed’ if you are curious.)

I’m back from my week long adventure in Rome!! Now I’m going to share my experience and some general costs.

TL:DR Flights were long. We didn’t get robbed. Their public transportation is difficult expect getting lost to be part of the adventure. Food is delicious if you like pizza and bread. Gelato is very yummy. There is a lot of awesome history in Rome. Pompeii was also very historical. Basically, Rome is like NYC only older.

First off, the flights there and back were exhausting. We rode three planes each way, and had to drive three hours to the Oklahoma City airport. The final drive home from Oklahoma City after we’d already been traveling for 24 hours was brutal. But our round trip ticket was only $627 each. Which is a steal. Most flights with only one stop out of Dallas are at least $1200 (round trip non stop out of Dallas is not available). And now that I’m on the other side of that traveling misery, ehhh it was worth it.

Second. We didn’t get robbed. Even though everyone we ever told that we were going to Rome HAD to warn us of the dangers of pick pocketing, we managed to visit the Eternal City without possessions being stolen. One lady even told us “Everyone gets robbed” on one of our plane rides. Well lady WE DIDN’T so take that! While we were a little irritated at all of warnings about pick pocketing, we didn’t ignore them. Richard kept his money in his front pockets. Because he’s a man and he has pockets. And I carried a backpack. This backpack has three pockets. In the front pocket, I stuffed a sandwich. Which I was actually hoping somebody might try to steal because that would have been funny. My debit card and passport were kept in the middle pocket and since it was raining off and on most of the time we were there; I wore a jacket over my backpack so that no one would be able to slip a hand in. So that’s the first step. Don’t make it easy for them. Second step, be aware. The only person that we came across that we thought might have been trying to steal from us was on the train to the city from the airport. This lady, looking like a meth head gets on the train with her bike. She’s acting erratic. Running between both of her bags muttering Italian under her breathe and bad English. Richard and I were in each corner. With our bags tightly gripped. She hands Richard a cigarette, which he sets down. Then she leans her bike on me. Which I promptly move and let fall. Then she starts asking for our phones to call her husband. I quickly said “We don’t have service here.” Which was a lie but I didn’t care. When we got to the next stop, a non-looking meth head twenty-something man comes down from the top section and they start muttering, SHE PULLS OUT A PHONE and they get off the subway together. Really lady. Not cool. We’ve only had half-assed plane sleep for the last 24 hours and you’re going to try to rob us right when we get here?! But after that we had no issues.

Public transportation. Public transportation in Rome consists mostly of buses. There were a couple subways but we never used them. Their system is not well catered to tourists. I never found an offline route map for each bus route probably because they change depending on the time of day. Even though the routes at every stop are listed; the names of the stops and the streets they are on is pretty useless information if you don’t know the city that well. So we struggled with that. On one particularly embarrassing occasion we got onto Route 46 on the wrong side of the road which proceeded to take us two hours out of the way to the far northeast side of the city. That was a frustrating morning. But after that mishap, we started to get the hang of it. Unlike what the internet says, bus tickets are not available at every stop. We bought our 48 hour pass at a small store near the Vatican for 12.5 Euro. But upon riding on the buses we realized something. Most people do not run their ticket or proof of legal riding the busses everytime they get on. So we just didn’t either. When in Rome right? But if you don’t scan your ticket and the police do a surprise inspection and your ticket has not been stamped, you could be fined. We got stopped by the police at Termini, the main station but we had our tickets on us so the police lady just assumed we were dumb tourists and showed us how to scan it and then let us go. Another tourist that didn’t even buy a ticket for the bus, received a fine from the police. We heard her claiming that she couldn’t buy a ticket because the bus driver wouldn’t stop for her. Which made no sense but her English was broken sooo idk maybe something else happened. Anyways, we escaped that issue. We rode the trentralia train to Naples and it was really nice. An extremely smooth ride, it had comfy seats with tables, wifi and a gorgeous view of the Italian countryside but it was expensive. At about $200 round-trip for both of us, we paid for that luxury. We also took a train from Naples to Pompeii. It was difficult to find and we spent awhile wondering around Naples until we found it. It was cramped, smelly, slow, and covered in graffiti. But it was only $12 for both of us round trip.

Food. Italians love sandwiches, pizza, croissants, and espresso. I’m not sure there was really much else to eat. My favorite sandwich was a flat one with spicy salami that we actually bought in Castel Sant’Angelo. And my favorite pizza was a mozzarella and salmon pizza that we got at a restaurant near where we were staying off of Gregorio VII. Yeah, I know, weird, but it was really good. We spent about $550 on food for the two days of traveling and 5 and a half days we stayed in Rome. And that includes the small amount of groceries we bought for snacks and breakfast every morning. (Italian breakfast of a croissant and an espresso was not enough to sustain the amount of walking we were doing everyday.) So we actually went about $150 over budget but that’s still not bad and we splurged a couple of nights and had a steady stream of wine so I think we did good. We did get nervous however when a man on one of our flights told us that he and his wife had a small pizza, and two teas for 60 euro. However, we never saw prices like that and luckily most restaurants post their menu prices right outside of the door. My only advice is to ignore the middle eastern man trying to coax you inside and only eat there if you want to. Also, gelato is the best thing ever, I was pretty obsessed with it.

And now on to what we saw. The first day we saw the Colosseum, the Roman Forum and the Palatine Hill. The Colosseum was amazing and huge and a great piece of history but neither Richard nor I were as impressed with it as the Roman Forum and the Palatine Hill. The Roman Forum consists of the ruins of the financial and business district of the Roman Empire dating back to Caesars’ and Emperor Augustus’ time. Basically the Wall Street of the Roman world. And the Palatine Hill holds the ruins of Emperor Augustus’ House, a large stadium and the ruins of the beginning to civilization in the area dating back to 900BC. Not to mention breathtaking views of the city and relaxing walks. These two areas were more of an afterthought and yet, they were filled with amazing ruins and history.

The second day we went to the Vatican. We stood in line at St. Peter’s Basilica and only waited for about 20 minutes. But we got lucky because right after we got in line, it started stretching around the Piazza even in the rain. I’m not catholic but I took a moment standing in the most beautiful building I have ever been in to stare at the walls and the sculptures. And I mean to really look at everything. Not take a picture and walk away. To really take in where I was and what it meant to millions of people around the world and throughout history. I tried to take in how beautiful it was and appreciate the time it had taken to build it and I actually started to cry. I got emotional and had to wipe my face off, hoping the guard wouldn’t notice. It was truly breathtaking. I think I will always get a little emotional in remembrance of that place. After the Basilica, we went to the Vatican Museums. Which also held beautiful statues, paintings all over the walls and ceilings, rugs, maps and old globes. We didn’t get to see everything but we did get to see the Sistine Chapel. And to be honest, we were both a little disappointed. Yes it was beautiful. But it was so packed and we were all sort of tunneled in there with the words “no photo, no video’ being repeated constantly that it was difficult to properly enjoy it. Then we walked to the Castel Sant’Angelo. This was one of my favorite places in all of Rome. With a rich history, from Emperor Hadrian’s tomb (he really built a lot while he was emperor), a fortress with a corridor for a retreating pope in danger from the Vatican, to a prison and castle for Popes. The museum is sort of set up like an Ikea store; you move through the walls on a path going up and up past the ashes of Emperor Hadrian, and the courtyard where prisoners were hanged all the way to the top. The views are beyond amazing. Including a skyline of the Tiber River and the Basilica in the distance. And as it started to rain while we moved through the Castel, Richard and I really felt and pretended like we were in the midst of a muddy defense in the middle ages.

The third day, we actually went back to the Roman Forum and the Palatine Hill and then finished the day with the Trevi Fountain. The fountain is absolutely gorgeous. It was crowded but we were still able to get to the front and snap a few photos while I read off a few facts about the beautiful location and then we left. Fun fact, this super famous fountain was actually built in 1762, which by roman standards, is a pretty new addition.

The fourth day we decided to take a bold day trip to see the Pompeii ruins. I’ve always been fascinated with Pompeii’s history and had a distinct connection with the fear of an erupting volcano since watching Dante’s Peak at to young of an age so it felt like it would be worth the 3 our trip each way. We had to take two buses, and two trains to get there. Albeit getting lost a couple times, we did eventually make it. It was a beautiful day and the ruins are absolutely gorgeous. Dozens of houses in amazing condition are preserved throughout the streets, some with gardens in the center and bones in corners makes the location eerily both romantic and haunting. We saw only a few of the casts and I was a little disappointed about that so if you go there make sure you make time for the museums that house the casts but the few I did see were absolutely heart wrenching. A child and mother frozen in time, you could almost see the emotion in their face frozen in the ash. The fear and realization that they were going to die transcending thousands of years through a cast is a really odd connection to have with another human being.

The fifth day, our last day in Rome, we slept in a little and then visited the Pantheon. An old pagan building transformed into a church/mausoleum that was extremely stunning. The dome was so large and ornate that it barely looked real and the grave of Rafael, the famous artist buried among kings was also beautiful. When we left the Pantheon, it began to rain but we had only one remaining goal, to see the Spanish Steps. However, the rain poured and we got soaked and lost and confused on a few of the streets. So by the time we made it to the Spanish Steps, I was cold and wet and I literally took a picture and then wanted to leave. But we made it!! We saw everything we wanted to see!!

Total, including airfare, airbnb, food, and transportation, we both spent a little over $2770. We went over budget by $400 but the original budget didn’t include Pompeii so I think we did really well. I really enjoyed going to Rome with my boyfriend and now I’m going to start planning our next trip to Tokyo, Japan!

I have made it a personal goal to become fluent in Spanish. If you have interest in learning another language, I definitely recommend getting the Duolingo app. But you must do it everyday and you have to practice what you learn through the app on your own. I think it helps a lot. Not only am I using it for Spanish but I’m also using it to learn some Italian before our trip tomorrow.

But I find it very difficult to be bold enough to speak the language in conversation. I get plenty of customers that speak Spanish that I could practice on. But they look at me, see that I’m white and the bilingual kids translate what the parents are saying, even though I can understand them. And I just freeze. I don’t know how to say speak Spanish to me so I can practice but speak slowly because I’m not really that great yet without coming off rude when they aren’t even looking at me. And I’m also nervous that surprising them with Spanish will cause a similar look that I get when people find out that I, a female, majored in engineering. The looks of disbelief can be patronizing and the conversations confirming what I just said can be repetitive and boring. And I don’t want to have the conversation, yes I’m trying to learn Spanish, No I’m not Hispanic, a million times. I just like the language and think it would be intrinsically and extrinsically useful. So instead, I just stare and sort of act like I don’t know that he just said he wants coffee and water.

Yesterday, I was at Walmart looking at something and an elderly Hispanic man comes up to me and asks if I can speak Spanish because he needs help translating to the employee. I know that’s what he said. But I panicked and said I only knew a little Spanish. Which of course caused him to stare at me puzzled since I’d clearly just understood what he said. The employee walked over and was all ‘it’s okay don’t worry’ shooing me away, further destroying my confidence. The man continued to speak Spanish to me describing the type of shoes that he wanted but there was one main word I didn’t know, and I froze further. Excited that I mostly understood but frustrated that I couldn’t prove it. I fumbled awkwardly for my phone like it might help. I felt like I was being interviewed for a job and asked the dreaded “so tell me about yourself.” And all knowledge of myself had immediately flown out of my brain. Every Spanish word that I knew melted into a slush pile of ‘haw-blow por-key-toe es-pan-nole.’

While the Asian employee continued to attempt to shoo me away in her own broken English, a young Hispanic boy walked over. The employee asked if he spoke Spanish and he said he could and agreed to help translate. So I ran away.

Obviously, it’s probably something I’m just going to have to get over if I actually want to become fluent. I’m just going to have to push myself past the discomfort and awkward frustrating conversations.

I finally watched the new Joker movie this week so spoiler alert if you still haven’t seen it.

I believe it is an iconic movie for multiple reasons but I saw a meme that said “someday someone will break you so badly that you will become unbreakable” with the joker smoking a cigarette behind the words. This by itself is a great sentiment. About resolve for yourself and taking hurt and turning it into your strength. But this in no way should be associated with The Joker. Ask yourself if you want someone who is mentally ill and wants to kill people to turn their hurt into strength. These type of phrases and glamorization of mental illness perverse the movie and it’s message.

Yes, this is an origin story for a made-up villain in a made-up world that clashes with a made up hero but what is this movie actually about? Its main message came out of The Joker’s mouth himself. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ABANDON THE MENTALLY ILL. They cut funding taking away his medicine and assigned him counselors that were tired, overworked and unconcerned. The only way he got attention was being made fun of. Was getting beaten up and blamed for it. Was to be given the same requirements in an operating society that was on normal adults. And as a result of this expectation he is defensive and can’t explain himself like a rational adult. He writes in his notebook “people expect you to behave as if you don’t.” He can hand them a card apologizing to them that he’s laughing, (as if he owes them an apology) and they will disregard it and continue to treat him cruelly. We can read about symptoms of a disorder and understand them but when confronted with them directly, we still struggle to not put the blame on the person with the disorder.

I know that you have depression but why do you have to be so sad all of the time? Life could be a lot worse.

I know that you have Alzheimer’s disease, but please just remember to do this one little thing.

I know you have bipolar disorder but why can’t you just make good decisions?

I know you have post traumatic stress disorder but please try not to wake me with a nightmare tonight. Just think happy thoughts so you feel better.

But instead, we see Joker’s rise to power as a symbol of strength. That he is now unbreakable. But the result of his rise to power isn’t because he grew stronger. His mental health deteriorated because of lack of support, understanding and compassion by people that repeatedly attempted to sweep him under the rug. And the only reason he rose to a position of leadership was because a lot of people felt abandoned.

This isn’t a glorification of mental illness. This is a message about compassion and what happens when it leaves society.

But on the bright side at least they saved a couple thousand dollars cutting that funding.

-Brittani Powers

 

Nothing bad ever happens to a writer, it’s all just material