It’s almost a cliché now to say that humans are a social species. Social groups started out as a necessary way to survive. Groups offered protection from the elements, other animals and other humans but perhaps over time, our minds developed a dependency on socialaztion to prevent us from thinking that we could do it on our own; almost like a subconscious protection to keep us needing each other. But this dependency on socialization for our physical selves can have devastating effects on our mental health if we live in social isolation. Studies have proven that social isolation leads to cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, depression, neuroticism and even hallucinations. This is why even in a modern world where we aren’t fighting off lions, social groups give a lot of advantages.
For one, support. Support from people in the dance community is the main reason so many people refer to the dancing community as their ‘Dance Family.’ I’ve seen countless examples of people in the dance community taking care of each other. From dance competitions set up to benefit a member that got injured and needs help with their medical bills (because we are mostly millennials getting screwed by our health care insurance, but that’s a topic for another day). I’ve even seen a dancer give a car to someone that needed it. We cook together and pray together before dinner. We go out to eat for special occasions and if someone can’t pay, we cover them because we don’t want them to miss out. We crash on each other’s couches. We call each other when we need to talk to someone and we encourage each other. And in many other ways we support each other.
Turns out there are actually four distinct types of support; emotional, informational, companionship, and tangible. Emotional support is given when we nurture each other. When a friend is going through a hard time and we tell them everything is going to be okay. I couldn’t even begin to count how many times I’ve been apart of an emotional support group in the girls’ bathroom at Red River and I never mind doing it because I’ve needed the same thing multiple times. Informational support is given when we give each other advice. In the dance community that revolves mostly around teaching each other to dance. We are constantly helping each other improve and grow in our dancing and it’s truly amazing to watch our abilities grow together because of this. The third type of support, companionship happens when we are just there for each other. When a friend goes with you to a doctors’ appointment. When they walk you to your car so that you’re safe. Sometimes I’ve had a bad day and just walking into the dance hall surrounded by friends that I know have my back, calms me down. They don’t even need to know that I needed them, just them being there is enough. The last type of support is tangible. This is when we throw competitions to help someone with bills as mentioned above or give someone a car when they need it. And that is truly amazing and speaks to how amazing people can be sometimes.
And while support from a social group or a companion is generally seen as a positive thing because support prevents many mental issues and raises self esteem; there are two things interesting about support that makes it a little more complicated. Studies have shown that if the wrong type of support is provided for what the person needs, then the support provided, even if the provider has the best intentions is completely useless and can actually have negative effects on the person’s mental health. For example, if I am seeking advice on how to spin better during a pattern in west coast swing, and someone tells me, “well I don’t know how to help you but I will stand next you while you practice.” Well that isn’t helpful; it’s just annoying. And also, now I’m self-conscious because it feels like you’re wordlessly judging me. Or if I ask for help with the spin and someone tells me everything is going to be okay and that I’m already a great dancer and I don’t need to worry about it. Um ok, also not helpful; just irritating because I don’t need to be consoled.
The wrong type of support can cause resentment and stress but another interesting thing about support from a group or another individual is that, it isn’t actually the received support that does the most good for us mentally, it’s actually the perceived support. It’s actually more beneficial to our mental health if we just THINK that we have ample support, it’s not that we have actually received it.
And while support groups are mostly a positive thing, they can actually have a lot of negatives as well and these are not discussed nearly as much since we live in a highly social culture. For example, it is possible to give to much support. Sometimes we help each other too much and we become a crutch for our own self growth. And sometimes, groups themselves can become toxic. When the culture of the group turns honesty into passive aggressive criticism, the effects can be very negative. Also when people in the group never know where they stand, things have become toxic. Think about people that have won a competition or had the honor of judging a competition and people say behind their backs that they only won because of what they were wearing or people make snide remarks about the legitimacy of the person judging. These people take their jealousy out on others and when it becomes the norm in a group, many people suffer. And speaking of remarks behind people’s back, this brings me to a frequently discussed issue: gossip. Speaking negatively about people is only good when you are trying to protect someone and you are certain that what you are saying is true. Gossip hurts reputations and people and creates a general feeling of distrust in groups. Although gossip is never completely avoidable, it is a good idea to be conscious of when you start to talk about someone and maybe think twice before doing so.
And although is isn’t going to be a popular opinion in the dance community, I think a specific dance group issue is the social reward that is granted to the most show off individual. I know that we are dancers and to steal the spotlight is almost natural for us. But a culture that promotes constantly being the center of attention, outdoing each other, and encouraging each other to use dancing as a distraction from the work we need to do on ourselves; simply isn’t healthy. It causes egos and arrogance to breed and diminishes growth and self awareness. It causes us to be fake with one another to gather support and increase attention instead of being real with each other. Respect through belt winning is short lived and hard to maintain. If we want to build a group that is successful and lasts for years to come and actually supports each other then we have to stop vying each other for attention and talking about each other behind their backs.
Links and citations are below:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_support
https://prezi.com/zns2vvddxk6k/positives-and-negatives-of-social-groups-on-adolescent-development/
Closed System 
I liked especially two parts: the Dance Family, because it’s true that the community serves as a replacement for extended family and/or more traditional groups like the church. I know I’ve made fun of close-knit communities like Crossfitters, but I think the support that groups like this create are exactly what lead to people being happier, healthier people.
The other part I liked is the clinical breakup into four kinds of support. Would you believe, that me, of all people, has never thought of it in such a precise way or looked it up? I know I’ve voiced to you concerns about offering the correct kind of support sometimes, but I’ve always thought of it from purely personal terms in giving my friends and loved ones the support they need.
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